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Motley Fool's headlines are walking on sunshine. Get it? Katrina and the Waves were a band.


New York temperatures, 11:37am: 83 degrees, feels like 90.

All right, well I live in a new state now. Just so everyone knows, law school is going fine, inasmuch as I have yet to take a class. Several experienced members of the NYU Law family have suggested that if you work hard enough to get a B or B+ in your classes, you will probably get a reasonable approximation of your dream job. And thanks to the widest curve this side of Britney Spears (oh tag), pretty much everyone gets a B or B+. So I am not likely to end up destitute.
I regret coming here wholeheartedly. No, I just made that up. Speaking as someone who thought of Raleigh, NC as a huge place with tons to do and everything so close, it is surreal to be literally a block from a Best Buy, with a McDonald's, several hot dog stands, some type of wholesale liquidators, and Subways of the sandwich and transportative kind, all in between. The law school students are friendly and funny and interesting, as expected. I'm not getting enough sleep (nap today though) and I am already worried about not doing enough work, so those are both good signs for my long-term success.
Anyway, I'm boring myself writing this, so I'll leave you to email me if I'm omitting anything. What I really want to write about today is Gov. Brian Schweitzer of Montana. Montana politics went through a bit of an upheaval last November when Democrats took over the governor's office and both houses of the state legislature, thanks in large part to Schweitzer's down-home progressive populism. I really like the guy. He claimed he was bipartisan and picked a GOP running mate to prove it, and when a new liquor store opened up in Montana, he showed up for the opening - and downed a shot for the press. Read this fabulous profile in Salon to find out more, but at the very least see what he looks like:

And there's nothing I love in a great politician more than their reinforcement of my admiration. Apparently Schweitzer thinks he can actually lower gas prices - nationally - and the crazy thing is, it just might work. Let me excerpt the best parts:
Montana's governor wants to solve America's rising energy costs using a technology discovered in Germany 80 years ago that converts coal into gasoline, diesel and aviation fuel.The Fischer-Tropsch technology, discovered by German researchers in 1923 and later used by the Nazis to convert coal into wartime fuels, was not economical as long as oil cost less than $30 a barrel.
But with U.S. crude oil now hitting more than double that price, Gov. Brian Schweitzer's plan is getting more attention across the country and some analysts are taking him very seriously.
Montana is "sitting on more energy than they have in the Middle East," Schweitzer told Reuters in an interview this week.
(P.S. I would be remiss in writing about Montana Democratic politics without writing about Jon Tester, who looks like a gym teacher, is having a Pearl Jam concert as a campaign event, and I'm absolutely convinced will beat Conrad Burns to become Montana's next U.S. Senator. This is what Tester looks like:

He launched his campaign with a statewide tour in an 18-wheeler. On the back of the truck it said, "You're behind the right guy." Check out his awesome campaign website here.)
Thanks to DailyKos for this gem:
"Like every other man of intelligence and education, I do believe in organic evolution. It surprises me that at this late date such questions should be raised."
Also, thanks to The Onion for showing us the numbers that shape our world:

Sorry mom, not me. I was reading Bill Simmons' recap of WWE Summerslam from last Sunday, when I saw this:

Apparently this was one of those pointless backstage sketches, here showing a couple of bimbos hopping into the car before Vince stuck his head out the window and said, "hey, why not?" Well, here are a couple reasons why the first President McMahon should not be named Vince:
And lest you forget, chump, he was acquitted in that massive steroid trial.
And speaking of his sense of timing, let's note that he did take the WWF to unprecendented heights for wrestling in 2000, to the point where his chief competition became not WCW but the rest of the entertainment world. With that opportunity, he should have started sucking up to the mainstream press and entertainment figures so that pro wrestling could stay hip for as long as Hollywood. Vince, of course, needed to revel in his success, and when he did an HBO interview with Bob Costas, the two of them nearly got into a fistfight. And yet somehow the XFL failed?
All told, this will be a surprise to longtime readers -- but I may not vote for him.

You may know Pat Robertson from his televangelism on the 700 Club, his "Out of Staters Can Caucus Too" strategy for finishing second in the 1988 Iowa caucuses, or for finally calling feminism what it is, "a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." [More Pat Robertson quotes.]
But now he's finally stopped fucking around, and now he's showing that real Christians support killing. Or, at least, as long as it doesn't fuck up our oil supply. According to a story in the Washington Post, this is what he said on the 700 Club this week about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez:
"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.""We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," he continued. "It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."
Anyway, I suspect my Republican-leaning extended family is going to start taking looks at the blog sooner than later, so I'm thinking I should start putting my generic yet hilarious "see conservatives stumble" posts into a single rant-like post. In that spirit, I'm going to endorse Gadflyer yet again with the entirety of a recent Cliff Schecter post:
I remember what a harrowing time it was in recent years when I hit my 30s. I wondered, should I change my behvavior in any way? Should I feel any different?Now that President Bush's poll numbers are falling down to around the number of heart valve malfunctions our VP has in average month, The Great Clearer of Brush will have to ask himself some questions (or ask Uncle Karl, in abbreviated sentences).
But, of course, he never does that, and anyway he's still too busy reading about Dean Acheson, you know the Rat Packer with the drink always handy. So why even bother contemplating in what ways he might change. It will be fun, however, to watch as President Popularity scrambles to explain why 62% of people think he understands the economy about as well as John Maynard Keynes. Since he died that is. And 36% approval vs. 58% disapproval? Impressive. Keep sliming Cindy Sheehan, I'm sure that'll turn the corner for you soon... [Terry side note: Well, it worked in 2004.]
Oh, and one more thing, any Democrats running for office who don't live in a state George Wallace won in 1968, or maybe Idaho, and choose not to directly attack these Pam Anderson-sized boobs in 2006 directly, you're idiots. And some other word I can't use here that roughly means you are serious wimps.

The radio today (today's alt-rock, 95.5 WBRU) announced they were playing Jack Johnson, but, disappointingly, they forsook his eminently singable breakthrough "Flake" for some new song called "Good People." I know we have to learn these tunes somehow, but there's nothing worse than really wanting to sing along with the radio, and then they go and play something you've never even heard of.
Oddly enough, I initially thought this song was really good, almost to the point of concern. See, unless a song is clearly and blatantly the most beautiful hook you've ever heard, it usually takes me a few listens (and at least a few days) to find any good in it. Now, if I try really really hard, I can sometimes see what's so charming about a song the very first time I hear it, but then I'll only ever like it about 75% as much as I would have had I let the whole process happen naturally. And in my desperation to sing along on the drive home today, I started scraping for melody in Jack Johnson's new chorus here, thus running the risk that, should there be anything to appreciate here, I'd never hear it. Listening to the radio is a struggle sometimes.
But I needn't have worried: this song is awesome. You can see the lyrics for yourself, and I'll copy the chorus:
Where'd all the good people go?
I've been changin channels
I dont see them on the tv shows
Where'd all the good people go
We got heaps and heaps of what we sow
In my earlier essay on Jim Wallis' God's Politics I neglected to note one of his more powerful ideas: politicians and those in power, as a rule, will not do what's right when it's unpopular. So, since we can't make them run against the wind, what we have to do is change the wind. I think he and Jack Johnson are onto something here: stop encouraging bad behavior, and where that's difficult to define, we can instead encourage good people. That kind of thing won't save the world today or tomorrow, but just as we somehow drove good people out of public life over the course of decades, someday they'll come back.
P.S.: I would be remiss in not mentioning that "Good People" does, in fact, have a really awesome melody too. I was singing along with the chorus the first time I heard it today, and I've been singing it ever since.
In my mind, SurveyUSA is one of the best polling companies out there, a heretical statement for most political pollsters. SurveyUSA is an independent company that does what we in the business call a "cat poll," in that they call you up, and an automated message asks if you want to take a poll, how old you are, and then, if the election were held today, whether you support Tony Miller or Anne Northup for Congress. So in other words, a cat could knock over the phone and hit enough buttons to respond to the poll, and if not a cat, your 16-year-old kid, an alien, or someone else who's not a registered voter. Conventional pollsters do not support SurveyUSA's methodology.
So it's counterintuitive to think SurveyUSA actually works (and believe you me, we had this response prepped when they wreaked their ugly havoc on Louisville), but these guys apparently get some of the best results of any pollster in America. For starters, the voice recording is usually that of a local personality, usually a newscaster from the sponsoring TV station, so it's a "trusted source," as opposed to one of those weird polls you get where they won't tell you who they're from, but really, really want to know your opinion on the Israel/Palestine situation. Plus, scientifically, the automated voice is a control, as opposed to some schmuck on a headset who might be doing who knows what: as SurveyUSA points out, with live pollsters, even if not intentionally skewing the process (though they might), they might read too fast or too slow, they might mispronounce words, they might be too loud, they might change their tone as they keep calling people and getting tired, etc. etc. etc. While it's true that people could make stuff up taking a cat poll, apparently not enough of them do to make a SurveyUSA poll any less valuable than the industry standard headset poll. Finally, since it's automated, it's a hell of a lot cheaper. Frankly I don't understand why more candidates don't try SurveyUSA, or why polling firms don't offer an automated option for cash-strapped campaigns.
So why am I fellating SurveyUSA? Because they just proved that my state hates Bush more than yours does. Idaho, we're all very disappointed.
Incidentally, I wish I could quote from the National Journal interview with SurveyUSA from last November or December, but unfortunately I have access to neither National Journal nor Nexis. I trust that if someone has a password for either, they will not contact me at the email address at the top of the screen.
DailyKos went ahead and posted a list of quotes from prominent Republicans back when Clinton was sending US troops into Bosnia, where, Kos points out, no Americans died. Here are some choice excerpts from a post you might want to see yourself:
"You can support the troops but not the president."
--Rep Tom Delay (R-TX)"Explain to the mothers and fathers of American servicemen that may come home in body bags why their son or daughter have to give up their life?"
--Sean Hannity, Fox News, 4/6/99"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is."
--Governor George W. Bush (R-TX)
Speaking of which, all of John Roberts' writings on affirmative action have all of a sudden turned up missing. Will we be this consistently awesome when we finally take our government back?

Today's song of the day is Elton John's 2001 single "This Train Don't Stop There Anymore," which I interpret as his apology for not making good music anymore. Here are the lyrics:
You may not believe it
But I don't believe in miracles anymore
And when I think about it
I don't believe I ever did for sure
All the things I've said in songs
All the purple prose you bought from me
Reality's just black and white
The sentimental things I'd write
Never meant that much to meI used to be the main express
All steam and whistles heading west
Picking up my pain from door to door
Riding on the storyline
Furnace burning overtime
But this train don't stop,
This train don't stop,
This train don't stop there anymoreYou don't need to hear it
But I'm dried up and sick to death of love
If you need to know it
I never really understood that stuff
All the stars and bleeding hearts
All the tears that welled up in my eyes
Never meant a thing to me
Read 'em as they say and weep
I've never felt enough to cryWhen I said that I don't care
It really means my engine's breaking down
The chisel chips my heart again
The granite cracks beneath my skin
I crumble into pieces on the ground
Rambling: for Song of the Day, that's how we do.

You may be aware of the broad overview of how the 2006 Senate situation looks right now. Rick Santorum is probably the underdog in Pennsylvania, Lincoln Chafee will probably have a tougher fight here in Rhode Island than he did last time, Mike DeWine looks like a chump out in Ohio (even if Sherrod Brown announced today he's not running) and it looks like we may be able to get something going in Montana to take out Conrad Burns (whose middle name is Montgomery in style if not in name). As for Democratic seats, we may have trouble holding onto our open seat in Minnesota, the COO of Ameritrade is going back to Nebraska to take on Ben Nelson, and everyone says that Florida's Bill Nelson is the last holdout in a state that's trending Republican.
The Florida race seems the most interesting. First off, the incumbent Bill Nelson, a fine upstanding Democrat, actually went into space for a while as a sitting U.S. Representative. As a result, he's a much better person than me or you, and in a halfway decent country his Senate reelection would go uncontested. Fortunately, though, in this reality we've got Katherine Harris. Yes, the 2000 Florida secretary of state who, as Bush's Florida chairwoman, did everything she could to make sure Bush would "carry" the state so he could "win" the presidency, is making a run for the Senate.
Now, the idea of Katherine Harris as their party's Senate nominee has made a lot of Republicans in Florida and DC pretty nervous. First, there's the ongoing hilarity of her appearance, which you can see in two alluring Wonkette links as she explains her campaign assets (what a great look on her face, too) and, well, stops looking like a clown. So Katherine Harris is never a dull candidate. The second reason she has Team Republican antsy, of course, is the fact that every Democrat in the country hates her, so all astronaut Bill Nelson has to do is tell Democratic donors that he's the only thing blocking Katherine Harris from the Senate, and he can basically print money.
So, apparently casting aside Team Bush's legendary loyalty to those who have stuck with them, national Republicans (i.e. Karl Rove) are looking for a new candidate. The speaker of the state House decided not to run, so it looks like now Republicans have come up with Plan C: turn this whole land into Scarborough Country. So if you're anything like me and you've spent many a 10 o'clock hour watching MSNBC, you know the awesome punditry skills of talk show host and former congressman Joe Scarborough. I kind of hope he runs, actually; the attack ads on him will be like shooting fish in a barrel, and Ms. Harris's continued presence means Nelson can still raise a shitload of money. So this should be a fun one. Why is everything in Florida always weird?


You know I enjoy pointing out the various foibles and inadequacies of the Bush administration. Here's a good one, care of a pretty decent op-ed from the Manchester Union Leader:
President Bush signed a $286 billion transportation bill that was $30 billion higher than the amount he had pledged to veto."This bill is by far the most expensive, wasteful highway bill in the nation's history," Keith Ashdown, vice president of Taxpayers for Common Sense, told The Washington Times. "It is filled to the brim with 6,371 projects at a cost of $24 billion for almost every congressional district in the country."
The reason I think of Anne Northup in particular, though, is that she brings up pork projects in all of her campaigns, specifically, the Ohio River bridges project. See, Louisville really needs two more bridges across the Ohio River into Indiana, and Northup has won reelection to Congress every two years, in part, by claiming that the bridge project is invariably just around the corner. We just hired someone to start the design work. We just finished the design work. We're about to pick a construction company. Always one more step, that will only come with Appropriations Committee member Anne Northup returned to Congress. Again, smart politics, but again, I don't take her seriously.
So, now that we have that outrageously porkish transportation bill, I thought I'd see if there were any news on the Louisville bridges. Sure enough, there is!
For the Ohio River Bridges Project to move forward, Kentucky and Indiana must commit significant money in the coming years, U.S. Rep Anne Northup said yesterday."I want them to step up, and I want them to fund this project," Northup, R-3rd District, said during a luncheon meeting of the Regional Leadership Coalition.
...
Yesterday's meeting came on the heels of Northup and [Indiana U.S. Rep. Mike] Sodrel securing $58 million last week for the bridges. The money was included in the six-year federal transportation bill.The bridges project is estimated to cost $1.9 billion in 2003 dollars -- but with inflation factored in, the estimate is $2.5 billion.
I've already illustrated that Roger Ebert makes awesome points in his print movie reviews, and he really outdoes himself today. I'll give two examples, the first a great insight from his review of the Skeleton Key:
It takes place in a creepy plantation house in a gloomy Louisiana backwater during a very, very rainy season. The district has something in common with every other horror movie set in the deep South: A ramshackle backroads gas station operated by degenerates who frighten and repel their customers.
The movie created a spot of controversy last February. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture Nominees and wrote that they were "ignored, unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that ... bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to 'Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,' a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic."Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind ... Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers."
Reading this, I was about to observe that Schneider can dish it out but he can't take it. Then I found he's not so good at dishing it out, either. I went online and found that Patrick Goldstein has won a National Headliner Award, a Los Angeles Press Club Award, a RockCritics.com award, and the Publicists' Guild award for lifetime achievement.
But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.
Great news - we officially have the dumbest thing I've ever read. I found it in The Hill two days ago, but I needed that much time to disparage it effectively enough:
[A]s the 2008 election approaches there are signs that an equally intriguing McCain-Kerry ticket could be in the works. If such an improbable thing comes to pass, its genesis might well be traced back to a one-on-one breakfast meeting July 27, when the two decorated Vietnam veterans huddled for more than an hour at La Colline restaurant on Capitol Hill.Fellow diners said the pair was engaged in earnest conversation throughout the breakfast, although Kerry spokesman David Wade characterized it simply as a chat between two “longtime friends.”
And yes, I know, August is a slow news month, but a lack of breaking news never excuses idiocy. If you doubt the insanity quotient of this piece, let's revisit a line already pasted in:
[A]s the 2008 election approaches
(The Point Judith Country Club, last month when the grass around here was still green, and not a depressingly droughted shade of brown.)
You know, with family members you really think you know them. While growing up, they're the one constant in your life: as everything else changes, and keeps changing, they're always there, and always there for you. It's like you know them better than you know anyone else.
Then they go and get pregnant.
Laura and I started off doing everything more or less a year apart, since she's more or less exactly one year older than me. Birth, kindergarten, SATs, college, and, uh, from there it kind of dropped off. Someone had to go get married, a lifestyle choice I have yet to match (he has a blog? and he's unmarried?), and now this.
Actually, all told it's not much of a surprise. Avid readers of Laura's blog will know that she'd been trying for some time, plus, you know, there is the four-year-marriage thing. So yesterday when I got a call at 9:10am and discovered it was my sister, I had a sneaking suspicion what it would be about, since no one calls me at 9:10am, much less my sister. So as the voicemail kicked in, I thought to myself, "well, she wouldn't announce this on an answering machine message, so let's see if she just tells me to call her back. Also if she's in a wicked good mood." Sure enough, she came through on both counts. And sure enough, my sister is pregnant.
Fortunately, trying to get pregnant is, like finding a job, one of those trying life endeavors with a really sudden payoff. And, unlike finding a job, pregnancy offers another payoff 9-10 months later when Laura goes through the most painful experience possible in existence. Congratulations to Laura and Peter both, and here's to a happy, healthy mommy and baby. (P.S. This is still weird. My sister is NOT a "mommy." That, you'll note, is mommy's job. Am I right, people?)
Anyway, not that this is relevant, but Laura notes at the end of her post on pregnancy that the plural of vagina is vaginae. Look, she brought it up, not me. Anyway, this is true because vagina is a Latin word meaning, you know, the obvious, plus it's also a semi-obscure word for "sheath," as in, what you put your sword into. And sure enough, a semi-obscure word for "sword" is everyone's favorite word, penis. Aren't you glad you're familiar with Latin declensions?

So I was walking into work today, thinking about what the leftist equivalent of "compassionate conservatism" would be. You know, staying true to your idealistic cause, but using an adjective to imply the opposite of however people complain about your idealistic cause. Like how everyone says conservatives don't care about anyone but themselves, so "compassionate conservatism" neutralizes that. I came up with "responsible liberalism." It's not alliterative, but I like it.
Speaking of ideas I like, I'm coming out and predicting the title of the next Harry Potter book will be Harry Potter and the Heir of Slytherin. Doesn't that sound like a Harry Potter title? And who would it be? Draco? Voldemort? Snape? Harry himself? Maybe the Sorting Hat saw things about which it chose not to speak.
(And I got the image from Laura. Go to her damn site if you want to see who she took it from.)
A reminder from DailyKos on Tuesday's special election for the most conservative House seat in Ohio:
In 2004, the Democrat running in OH-02 lost by 44 points. Tonight, the Democrat, Paul Hackett, lost by a mere 4 points.
Also, I think "Running On Empty" is Jackson Browne's best song.
If not agree with him. From Peter Gammons' Hall of Fame column:
The players know that their Hall of Fame fraternity, or family, is unique. One cannot buy one's way in, like the New York Yacht Club. One cannot be born into it. One cannot politic in, like the Council of Foreign Affairs. One can only gain acceptance by performance, and then it is far more exclusive -- as well as traditional -- than the Hall of Fames in other sports."Players are awed by this, and they respect everything about it," says Dennis Eckersley. Reggie Jackson, who has been known to be Reggie, is as humble as Jack Cressend. "I'm in a club with Willie Mays. I'm just fortunate, period," says Jackson. "There is a pervasive spirit here that the game is greater than any of us, and when you're around Willie and Sandy Koufax and Stan Musial, we are always around men who are far greater than I am."
Note: the A's are 88-0 over their last fifty games. I'm with Moneyball, and Joe Morgan's still an idiot. I'm just starting to understand how he got that mindset. Are any other HoFers broadcasting these days?
(Photo: Third-party friends. Do you have any friends who are too cool to read your blog?)
I'm torn. I want to make fun of Gawker for - this is true - resorting to recapping New York Times book reviews on its website. This review is funny, this review is weird, this review is really dull. The article itself is really dull, so instead of that direction, I'll just say, it's been done before, and better. Yes, I have more political posts coming, eventually.
(Again with the beach. Beavertail lighthouse enthusiasts will note that the rock formation in the background is the flip side of the rock formation you can see by looking from Jamestown to the mainland.)