Winners of the really, really, really breaking news award
Great news - we officially have the dumbest thing I've ever read. I found it in The Hill two days ago, but I needed that much time to disparage it effectively enough:
[A]s the 2008 election approaches there are signs that an equally intriguing McCain-Kerry ticket could be in the works. If such an improbable thing comes to pass, its genesis might well be traced back to a one-on-one breakfast meeting July 27, when the two decorated Vietnam veterans huddled for more than an hour at La Colline restaurant on Capitol Hill.Fellow diners said the pair was engaged in earnest conversation throughout the breakfast, although Kerry spokesman David Wade characterized it simply as a chat between two “longtime friends.”
Now, I know what you're thinking, and no, this isn't being reported as a joke. Despite the fact that everyone knows Kerry and McCain are good friends, who might even be such good friends that they'd go out for lunch together, this is not only somehow news but also an indication that they're going to run for president together. I mean, I heard Dick Cheney had three meals yesterday, possibly with other people. So does that make it definite that he's running for president, or just really likely?
And yes, I know, August is a slow news month, but a lack of breaking news never excuses idiocy. If you doubt the insanity quotient of this piece, let's revisit a line already pasted in:
[A]s the 2008 election approaches
OH MY GOD. Sure, on one level we're only 39 months from the next election, but on the same level the presidential campaign activity is still absolutely nothing. Here's what's happened so far: a couple of guys have hired some staffers (though plenty of big-name operatives remain unsigned), a couple of guys have started up PACs, and the usual suspects are roaming around Iowa and New Hampshire (and wasting their time in other early-primary states too, though that's another post). That's it. It's true that you'll be able to discern slight initial seedings for the 2007 primary season based on how candidates act during next year's midterm elections, but it's also true that these guys are spending less time courting VPs and more time making sure anyone has ever heard of them. How ridiculous.
(The Point Judith Country Club, last month when the grass around here was still green, and not a depressingly droughted shade of brown.)