The Thrill of the Chase
I know you've been waiting as long as I have to turn this blog into a dating advice column as well as a left-wing political ranting mechanism, and it looks like now's the time. I found this gem in a very lengthy New York Times Magazine article by Maureen Dowd. ("Look, if you're just going to talk about dating in your political column, why don't you write a book about it?") Anyway:
I knew this before fashion magazines became crowded with crinolines, bows, ruffles, leopard-skin scarves, 50's party dresses and other sartorial equivalents of flirting and with articles like "The Return of Hard to Get." ("I think it behooves us to stop offering each other these pearls of feminism, to stop saying, 'So, why don't you call him?"' a writer lectured in Mademoiselle. "Some men must have the thrill of the chase.")
I have heard this last line repeated over and over, and I don't know where it comes from. I suspect chicks refer to "the thrill of the chase" because they don't want rejection and the way our culture works is that they don't have to risk it, because enough guys will hit on most chicks that our young ladies don't have to do the asking out. But the combination of your own laziness and insecurity is not a viable argument in most circles, so chicks tell themselves that guys actually hate being approached or asked out. (To the guys reading this: I have seriously heard this, and actually a lot.) So I suspect this winds up as a so-called fact that most guys just love the thrill of the chase.
Now, I understand most chicks want an assertive guy who's not a wuss and who's not going to keep saying "I don't know, what do you want to do?" So if someone were to say, instead, that they'd only go out with a guy who made the first move, that's fine by me. It's your life. Because here's my concern: I couldn't even tell you what this thrill is. Maybe I'm just not hanging out with enough asshole jocks, but the best I can tell is that "the thrill of the chase" is either the thrill of calling a chick and not having her call back, or the thrill of getting turned down for dates until eventually she says yes. I admit, law school is continually revealing that I'm a huge idiot, so you may have to explain or clarify with monosyllabic words, because I'd really love to know. My email address is terrymcmahon -at- gmail.com, for those of you not interested in flaming and/or responding via the comments section. Feel free to comment on here too.
P.S. Before I get brought up in front of contracts class for my use of the word "chick," I must repeat my long-standing position that I will happily drop it in favor of any better female equivalent of "guy." (Yeah, didn't think so.)
Comments
"Maybe I'm just not hanging out with enough asshole jocks, but the best I can tell is that "the thrill of the chase" is either the thrill of calling a chick and not having her call back, or the thrill of getting turned down for dates until eventually she says yes."
I don't use these letters very often, but there's just no other way to describe it -- LOL. Man, that's just poetry.
And here I was wondering just how much built-up bitterness could possibly be squeezed into a single sentence, too!
Posted by: galvin | October 30, 2005 9:45 PM
Yeah, but that still doesn't answer the question.
Posted by: Terry | October 30, 2005 10:42 PM
Well, as a woman, I hide behind whatever I can because I'm terrified of rejection. I would never ever ask anyone out. I also can't be the one to start a friendship. Like at work, someone has to suggest we get together outside of work, I can't. So those people are more likely to be the ones to do the asking out than me I guess. I consider myself very lucky that I'm married and don't have to deal with all that weird dating stuff.
As for the thrill, some people get off on adreneline, no matter what the type. It's exciting asking someone out, calling them for the first time, etc, so maybe that's it? I never dated a guy who liked the thrill of the chase though, so I don't know.
Posted by: Laura | October 31, 2005 8:03 AM