Merry Christmas!
I've been saying "Happy Holidays" for weeks now, doing my part as a foot soldier in the all-important "War on Christmas." My arch-conservative readers must be furrowing their brows, wondering: how could someone who's been wishing people only happy holidays like some member of al-Qaeda now be wishing a Merry Christmas? It's all so confusing.
Here's a hint: It's Christmas! I hope everyone reading this, and even everyone not reading this, has a happy Christmas. If you're not Christian, that's okay, you can have a happy December 25th as you contemplate your future in the fiery pits of places you don't believe exist. I would offer happier tidings, but all the holiday cheer and this wonderful french toast casserole (!) confection that Peter made has forced me to expound all my good feelings already. Good times!
Now, here's the thing about "Happy Holidays," and why we've started this massive imaginary War on Christmas: "Happy Holidays" is the perfect thing to say during the Christmas season. Let me count the ways:
- Most days during Christmas season, it's not Christmas. Christmas Eve, absolutely. Christmas Day, you'd be crazy to say anything else. But if you think I'm going to be wishing people a Merry Christmas on December 6th and November 27th, you got another thing coming, buddy.
- I like to wish people "Happy Holidays" because I want them to have happy times during the holidays. I know this is going to be another calculus problem here, but a reference to "holidays" doesn't always amount to a rejection of Christianity. Sometimes I just hope that people have an enjoyable season that starts at Thanksgiving and continues through New Year's, with either Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever.
- Some dipshits actually go and not be Christian. And since a lot of them celebrate holidays during this season anyway, "Happy Holidays" covers them too. "I like to include people" is just another of the hard-hitting truths you get here at Terry McMahon's Awesome Blog.
So to everyone: Merry Christmas!