So I figured out what Cloverfield is about...
So far it's been shrouded in mystery, but now I know the story behind JJ Abrams' Cloverfield:
What's that? A big explosion in a modern-day city? Where have I seen that before?
It can only be ...
That's right: CHRONO TRIGGER: THE MOVIE. This is all misdirection: get ready for a time travel adventure!
(P.S. In all seriousness, I would much, much prefer Chrono Trigger: The Movie to whatever the hell this actually is.)