Terry McMahon's Awesome Blog

So when Aaron Block called and told me that his brother Stefan had written a novel, I have to admit I was skeptical. Stefan, who I'd gotten to know up at their family cottage in New Hampshire and had since moved to NYC, was already in the midst of a burgeoning career in film documentary just a couple of years outside of college. Maybe he'd gotten sick of it or something, but even then, who doesn't want to write a novel?

Then Aaron told me that Stefan had found a publisher, which then reminded me of that annoying old Xerox ad that ends with "and now everyone can get published!" I mean, I could find a publisher. I couldn't find a good publisher, but I could go around calling myself "a published author" if I felt like it.

Then I discovered that Stefan's publisher is some joint called Random House, his book was being translated into 11 languages, he was going on a book tour, and it was getting reviewed by major critics. That sounded absurd, but I thought, well, I'll believe it when I see it.

I've seen it. Stefan's book comes out tomorrow, and courtesy of Aaron, here are some excerpts from reviews:

---
Janet Maslin of The New York Times described his novel as:

"[an] emotional roller coaster ... 'The Story of Forgetting' is as
true to the anguish of [its] questions as it is ablaze with love and
vitality ... Mr. Block taps into the life force that gives [his
characters] a human, heart-wrenching answer ... a fresh, beguiling
novel."

---
Tina Jordan of Entertainment Weekly claims that:

"Block weaves together his disparate narrative strands with a deft
hand, tingeing his tale with a lovely touch of the fantastic."

---
Melissa Katsoulis of The Financial Times states that his novel is:

"Blisteringly good ... The redemptive qualities of storytelling are
gloriously displayed in this astonishing first novel, which confirms
Block as a strong new talent."

---
Publishers Weekly in a Starred Review has stated that:

"... this astounding debut captures an air of the fantastical while
presenting one family's heartfelt battle with Alzheimer's ... Block
displays an innate gift for developing believable characters each with
his own distinct voice. The result is a story that's compulsive and
transporting."

---
Mike Shea of Texas Monthly raves that:

"STEFAN MERRILL BLOCK is a talent ... [he] can write big: By tracing
[a] lineage through generations, he gives his narrative scope and
power. But it's the intimate moments--husbands, wives, sons, and
daughters devastated by the effects of Alzheimer's--that make The Story
of Forgetting, well, unforgettable."

---
Steve Giegerich of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch claims that Stefan's
novel is:

"nuanced yet intensely personal literature ... [Block's] investment in
vivid character development pays off handsomely in a tightly
structured narrative that moves flawlessly from start to finish ...
The brilliance of 'The Story of Forgetting,' poetic and spiritual, is
undeniable."

---
Kirkus Review claims that

"...what makes this novel special is Block's grasp of the emotional
devastation wrought by Alzheimer's ... the melancholy that must
accompany even the closest bonds once this disease has struck. A
sensitive fictional interpretation of family tragedy."

---

So, suffice it to say that Stefan's book is kind of a big deal. I will buy it at the launch party because I'm so awesome and supportive, but I am pretty sure it will be a passable read. The Financial Times said so!

Posted by Terry McMahon at 11:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This is one hell of an idea.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 11:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Do you like swords? Do you have more swords than you need, but fewer swords than you want? Well, I have news for you: Terry McMahon's Awesome Blog is proud to announce our OFFICIAL swords dealership: KING OF SWORDS. That's www.kingofswords.com. If you want medieval swords, samurai swords, anime swords, fantasy swords, or final fantasy swords, then KING OF SWORDS is for you.

KING OF SWORDS: where's your sword?

Posted by Terry McMahon at 9:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So I had a great time at the Haverford reunion last weekend, even if I haven't posted anything about it in a week. I met my goal of running the Nature Trail twice in a row, which I always wanted to do before graduation and never did, and, I suppose, seeing so many people for the first time in five years was fun too. I hoped we'd lie in the grass and have deep conversations until 4am about our lives and where we've been and where we're headed, but it seems like we just drank. I left before the second night, though, so maybe I should have been more patient.

I also talked to the new president, who despite not having collegiate administrative experience seems to be really on the ball, i.e. he acted interested in what I had to say. Seriously, I think he'll be fine, but what do I know.

Anyway, onto the pictures. I took these with my new digital camera, so I have no idea what the settings are or why everything looks so blurry. It's a relatively inexpensive camera (AND I bought it with Lexis points, seriously) so maybe it's just not good enough. Anyway, I have about a 30-pixel-wide column here, so I'm linking each photo to itself so you can see more than the left quintile of it. Comments below each shot.

OK, this is scene-setting. My alma mater has a pretty campus!

Another scene-setter. The class of 2002 stayed in Comfort. (For everyone who didn't go to Haverford or live around there, that is actually the name of a dorm, and it's named after a real person. The traditionally fratty house is named after a guy named Drinker. I'm not making this up.)

I know, this is just getting excessive. But that was the last shot of stuff that looks the same as it always did.

So I seemed not to have any problems graduating from a college with the world's largest rubber floor as its basketball court and a dank pit for its cardio room, but evidently modern students needed the campus center green to have a gigantic athletic center in the middle of it.

Yeah, so it's an understated building, except that it's enormous and has "HAVERFORD" spelled out in giant red letters on the side that light up at night. (That's actually true.) In retrospect, my biggest regret in taking my new camera's original 16mb memory card to the reunion is that I can't show the walkway between the Coop and the new athletic building. It's actually really nice: on the right there's a hill curving down into a flower garden, and on the left there's a series of outdoor tables (with umbrellas? I don't remember) that would have been really nice in the warmer months. These kids have no idea how good they have it.

Here's Exhibit A. Again, the cardio room when I went there was a dank pit. It seriously was the wrestling room, until they decided it was too grimy for wrestling, and they threw in (literally) like two treadmills, an elliptical, a rowing machine, a Nautilus and some free weights. We did just fine without "space" or "a nice view" or "natural light." When I first saw this place I seriously almost went in and started screaming at the kids in there. A little abject terror would be good for the little SOBs. I'll move on.

OK, so on to the Coop, which has been completely redone. I apologize for the bars; it was closed when the alumni showed up so it was hard to get a good shot. Again, what kind of place is the Coop if they sell more than grilled cheese sandwiches and fries? Also, I forgot to check, but does this look like they took out Skeeters or what? Who's with me on bringing cheese-filled breadsticks national? It'd be bigger than pizza!

This is more or less a shot from the same place, 180 degrees turned around. I counted only two HDTVs in the Coop, which I think is what we had in there too. (Actually, for the record, when we went it was almost impossible to find anywhere on campus where we could watch WWF. No, we didn't have cable in the dorms.) Also, note the restaurant-quality tables. Seriously, did they decide that prospective students and their families who go to the eatery directly next door to the admissions office just might want to see something that makes them think the facilities might be nice enough to justify $40,000/year? What would give them that impression?

OK, now I'm just bitter. Note the DC has a better drink selection too. The DC has the same ice cream dispenser that you can see in the Coop photo too; no answer on whether it works 35% of the time.

There's a kindergarten by the cricket house!!! I have no idea who goes there, if it's children of faculty or staff or just some new revenue trick. Hopefully the presence of children around is convincing the college students to start asking each other out and stop turning each other down, but that's probably too much to ask. Also, I can still remember the first time I went in that cricket house on the left; it was a week ago when I went to reunion and drank.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 12:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to my cousin Allison for the tip:

1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. scroll down to step #23

Posted by Terry McMahon at 1:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Links ... of interest!

• The Onion's satire-free sister site, The AV Club, has a couple of really interesting interviews lately. The interview with Mindy Kaling, The Office's Kelly Kapoor and a writer on the show herself, is pretty fascinating, but maybe only if you have the common sense and decency to watch the show.

• But I was really surprised by the interview with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who spent the 90s as the kid on Third Rock from the Sun, which would have been a typical pretentious-actor interview except that Gordon-Levitt comes off less as pretentious and more as a guy really dedicated to his work. And since all of us are curious what it'd be like to be a Hollywood actor, it's a pretty neat read.

• NYU Law has been on a string of favorable treatment on self-described legal tabloid Above the Law lately, mostly because of the terrific Law Revue show put on last week. Law Revue is a traditional school variety show, but during intermission they put up pre-made videos that are sometimes funnier than the rest of the show. This year's show featured not one but two videos, both of which were featured on ATL: this Apple parody, which mostly pokes fun at NYU for not having a waitlist for classes (yes, you have to sit at your computer and keep checking to see if a spot has opened up) or letting students use Macs on exams (even though Macs can use formerly PC-only software now), though of course there are shots at Columbia too.

  The next video is even better, a parody of law-firm life and Michael Jackson: "Bill It."

  Finally, in the NYU-is-awesome celebration, ATL put up the Law Revue intermission video from 2006, which was also very funny, covering the Early Interview Week in which most firm-destined students participate at the beginning of 2L year. While the video might look a little flippant, everyone (at least everyone but the d-bags) realizes how lucky they are to have these employment opportunities, but, really, try doing 35 interviews in a week sometime and see if you don't go stir crazy. Also note that the story of the summer associate who got drunk at a firm event, jumped off the boat and had to be rescued by the Coast Guard is ... true!

• The New Republic has a really interesting article on Republicans appealing to the worst in the electorate - racism, sexism, you know the deal - to tar Democrats as unelectable. The examples are subtle but fascinating.

• Another TNR article, this time on the Bush administration's love of international law - at least when it helps their case.

  Posted by Terry McMahon at 10:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to Common Sense Dancing for posting this link to the Best of Tina Fey on Weekend Update. It's hilarious.

I'd also like to say I'm glad that NBC put this together, but I'm going to call them up and ask them if, instead of throwing the money away, they can just sell access to the SNL archives online and then give me the money. They'd end up with the same amount of money, but I and the whole fucking world would profit. Isn't there some general-welfare clause somewhere we can use to hammer them into opening up the old sketches? It's understandable that they wouldn't grasp the potential in the pre-YouTube era, but especially since NBC aggressively shuts off uploaded SNL clips, they have to know there's a huge market out there. I would LOVE to see all the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer sketches again.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 1:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Discussing stuff like this really demeans us all.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 5:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From this morning's Hotline (subscription required):

"When bad things happen to good people, it's probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it's probably Jack Bauer" -- Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), in a promo for Fox (Roll Call).

P.S. 24 fans should check out CTURookie.com. Awesome!

Posted by Terry McMahon at 11:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I wrote this on the train a few weeks ago, and certain computer explosions have kept me from posting the finished version. I'm not sure whether to be mortified of this post or not, but when in doubt, take the risk. Also I'm pretty sure none of the links work.

So for the next week or so you'll be able to read a NYT Magazine article about kids in NYC and LA who realize how cool they are, and find ways to sell it. I find this abhorrent and I don't mind saying so, and I finally figured out what exactly rubs me the wrong way. These kids are attempting to reject authority, and all they're doing is buying into some other authority. Here's a quote:

What, exactly, did that culture or lifestyle consist of — aside from buying products that represent it?

Bobby did his best to clue me in. “It’s just the idea of trying to be rebellious,” he said. “Or trying to be a little bit anti, questioning government or your parents. Trying to do something different.”

So this is the first time i've ever seriously thought, "kids these days," which I admit is both troubling and sad. But this has never been about what I think is hip. If you want to be cool, be yourself. If you think you can sell it, more power to you. But if you're defining cool, instead of listening to what everyone else thinks, you're just getting a higher position in the same game. Here's a choice quote:

“We were the first generation, and only one, to enjoy sneaker consumption on our own terms,” Bobbito Garcia declares in his book about sneaker-hunting in the 1970’s and 80’s, “Where’d You Get Those?"

Posted by Terry McMahon at 12:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The New York Times Magazine's ten-questions host, Deborah Solomon, hits it out of the park in this Sunday's paper:

I always think the only real advantage of being rich is not having to fly coach.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 12:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

One of my favorite anecdotes about life in New York City is that my once and future residence of NYU Law's Mercer Street dorm is on the same block as a club that I had no idea even existed the first month I was there. It's a club with "a more underground nature" as the New York Times put it, where a "dim staircase descends into a brick-vaulted basement." That's right, if you check out their article before the dread cloud of TimesSelect takes hold, you can read about how the club at Broadway and Bleecker is now a Strokes/Drew Barrymore-spotted gay bar. That's right, if I win another dance-off there, this time it probably won't be against a girl. (Let's note that I did it on a messed-up knee too: when you got it, you got it.) But how weird is it that the New York Times is writing about a place that's right nearby?

Posted by Terry McMahon at 9:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Warren Buffett gets it:

Certainly neither Susie nor I ever thought we should pass huge amounts of money along to our children. Our kids are great. But I would argue that when your kids have all the advantages anyway, in terms of how they grow up and the opportunities they have for education, including what they learn at home - I would say it's neither right nor rational to be flooding them with money.

In effect, they've had a gigantic headstart in a society that aspires to be a meritocracy. Dynastic mega-wealth would further tilt the playing field that we ought to be trying instead to level.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 11:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's a shame this blog design doesn't work as well for wide images anymore, because Penny Arcade is frequently hilarious and deserves to be splattered on the screen, instead of shoved into a tiny little link. But it's worth going to. Click it.

This one is worth a link too. You know it's true if you read it in the paper.

Reminder: The Spider-Man 3 teaser just came out, and it looks awesome. The Venom storyline sounds ridiculous if it's described to you, but here the implausibility of it is turned into fear of the unknown. I'm so excited. Only ten more months!

Finally, this article is hilarious and so, so true. It's like I'm a real New Yorker now! (Except I still hate the Yankees.)

Posted by Terry McMahon at 1:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Now onto the really important stuff (no, not just this):

In a poll conducted by Us Weekly, 87 percent of respondents said they had less respect for Spears after her sitdown with Matt Lauer. Meanwhile, the New York Post reported that the NBC crew filming the interview was so startled by Spears' disheveled appearance when they arrived that they thought they had the wrong day.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 8:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This can definitely count as the real post.

See, I'm even more boring in real life than on the blog. He looks a lot like his mommy here:

This looks ridiculous. But I can tell you, I am sincere when I talk to the baby:

Arrrrr:

Posted by Terry McMahon at 12:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

First off, adorable baby alert:

I know the column's too narrow here to see the whole thing, so go here for the full version. CLICK THE LINK. Isn't he a cutie???

Other things going on:

• Speaking of photos of really new things, these are supposedly screenshots from a magazine of a game for Nintendo's upcoming Revolution console. It looks good, but, again, it comes out of a magazine. Note again the fascinating hand-held control structure.

• Chuck Klosterman, who's like Bill Simmons without the sports, writes about sports here, specifically, the five problems for us as baseball fans and Americans upon Barry Bonds' steroid-fueled passing of Babe Ruth on the career home run chart. All told, it's a fascinating read.

• This is not news, but an interesting revelation. I remember as a youngster reading an anecdote in a Baseball Hall of Shame book about an English-speaking and Spanish-speaking outfield combo who kept colliding with each other, so the English-speaking guy learned to say "Yo la tengo!" which is Spanish for "I got it!" Hilarious, no? Cross-cultural communications at its finest.

  In any event, years later I discovered (never very closely, sorry) that there's a band called Yo La Tengo, and I always thought that was the weirdest coincidence: a band with a phrase as its name is weird enough, and then it's the punchline to one of those weakly amusing baseball stories of years past. Could the band have possibly gotten its name from the same story I read? As I just discovered, absolutely. The outfielders were Richie Ashburn and Elio Chacon on the 1962 Mets.

• I was talking to someone in Alaska a while back, and she was shocked to discover that at one point in the past Alaska actually had Democratic senators. I hope that conveys how anachronistic it seems, then, that one of those Democrats who used to represent Alaska in the Senate is running for president. He was an anti-war Democrat during Vietnam, and he's going to be anti-war again. This is the first time I've seen someone run for president who hasn't served in office in 26 years. In any event, he's the first official candidate.

• I always love Wikipedia entries on the occult that are presented straight. "In similarity to her Thelemic counterpart The Great Beast 666, Babalon is seen as being both an Egregore and an Office, the taker of this office is known as The Scarlet Woman." I had no idea. Also, I'm pretty sure the real Great Beast has a better grasp of punctuation.

• But if you want to see something really horrifying, look at Wikipedia's list of famous Scientologists. The number of people you'll lose faith in will be outstanding. Mary Bono? Soleil Moon Frye?? Patrick Swayze?!? I hope Xenu really is the time of your life, Swayze.

• In news almost as traumatic as putting billions of souls around volcanos and blowing them up, releasing their souls into the atmosphere, someone in San Diego just made a video of the bottom of the 10th inning of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. The second-greatest baseball comeback ever? Or just a horrible, horrible moment? Check out the video and decide for yourself.

• Are you going to try to tell me I didn't need a new cell phone with a camera? Look at this:

  

  And this:

  

  Again, for the full versions click here and here. Did I keep it like that? Looks like you'll have to call me on my new number and find out!

  Posted by Terry McMahon at 1:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Congratulations to Laura, Peter, and last but not least Smore, now hereby renamed Anderson Williams Kovacs. As of Sunday, 4/9 at 5:30pm, Laura and Peter have a son. And I have a nephew! I still remember when Laura and I were little, and now she has a baby of her own! Very exciting. I also remember last summer, when we kept waiting to see if Laura was pregnant, and a couple of times it looked like maybe, and no, then it looked like maybe, then pretty sure, then almost definitely, and now, let's say we were confident that this time, Laura was pregnant. The new mommy and daddy will both be great parents (the rest of the family's not too shabby either), so as long as we remember to raise him Red Sox, the little boy's going to be all set. Congratulations to everybody!!

Posted by Terry McMahon at 8:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Noted espn.com columnist Bill Simmons, author of the Red Sox book I got for Christmas, has been solidifying his status as one of the major voices of his generation (and you think I'm kidding) by doing a series of interviews with seriously fascinating people, like NBA Commissioner David Stern, Red Sox superhero Curt Schilling, and the guy who made "The OC." Most recently, he talked with New Yorker writer Malcolm Gladwell, better known as the author of "Blink" and "The Tipping Point." In Part 2 of the wide-ranging, fascinating interview, Gladwell talks about his potential as an NBA general manager:

Gladwell: Here's the real question. If I was GM of the Knicks, would I be doing a better job of managing the team than Thomas? I believe, somewhat immodestly, that the answer is yes. And I say this even though it is abundantly clear that Thomas knows several thousand times more about basketball than I do. I've never picked up a basketball. I couldn't diagram a play to save my life. I would put my level of basketball knowledge, among hard core fans, in the 25th percentile.

So why do I think I would be better? There's a famous experiment done by a wonderful psychologist at Columbia University named Dan Goldstein. He goes to a class of American college students and asks them which city they think is bigger -- San Antonio or San Diego. The students are divided. Then he goes to an equivalent class of German college students and asks the same question. This time the class votes overwhelmingly for San Diego. The right answer? San Diego. So the Germans are smarter, at least on this question, than the American kids. But that's not because they know more about American geography. It's because they know less. They've never heard of San Antonio. But they've heard of San Diego and using only that rule of thumb, they figure San Diego must be bigger. The American students know way more. They know all about San Antonio. They know it's in Texas and that Texas is booming. They know it has a pro basketball team, so it must be a pretty big market. Some of them may have been in San Antonio and taken forever to drive from one side of town to another -- and that, and a thousand other stray facts about Texas and San Antonio, have the effect of muddling their judgment and preventing them from getting the right answer.

I'd be the equivalent of the German student. I know nothing about basketball, so I'd make only the safest, most obvious decisions. I'd read John Hollinger and Chad Ford and I'd print out your mid-season NBA roundup and post it on my blackboard. I'd look at the box scores every morning, and watch Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith on TNT. Would I have made the disastrous Marbury trade? Of course not. I'd wonder why Jerry Colangelo -- who I know is a lot smarter than I am -- was so willing to part with him.

Eventually, they push to play somewhere else, and only because they want to be paid like a franchise player without the responsibility of carrying a franchise. That's why McGrady left Orlando. That's why Carter left Toronto. That's why Davis left New Orleans. That's why KG will push to leave Minnesota this summer.

P.S. You can try this at home without having to know the intricacies of the NBA or the TX-22 congressional race. When you get a call on your cell phone, stop and think about who it might be before you look. You'd be surprised how much of what happens can be predicted if you think it through.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 2:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I recently ran a search on solving a minor problem that comes up whenever I start up the old version of AIM (the new version, Triton, is buggier than a New England summer night) and, happily, wound up on the Microsoft website. I got this hilariously useful error message:

SYMPTOMS

When you attempt to start your computer, an error message similar to the following may appear:

Xmlparse.dll cannot be found.

CAUSE

This error can occur when you have America Online Instant Messenger (AIM) in the Startup group.

RESOLUTION

To resolve this problem, disable AIM or remove AIM from the Startup group.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 11:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to 12eight for the heads up - and the awesome Red Sox news!

Posted by Terry McMahon at 1:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2006020523365.jpg

Posted by Terry McMahon at 2:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

NBC Cancels 'West Wing' After 7 Seasons

The series finale will be May 14, preceded by a one-hour retrospective. The campaign to replace the fictional Josiah Bartlet as president will be settled, NBC said.

"The Office" will go off the air at the end of March so star Steve Carell can film a movie, Reilly said.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 6:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am always trying to find a good example of when Overheard in New York takes a funny conversation and makes it funnier with the headline. Finally:

Maybe He Was Doing Her a Favor

Girl: I heard on CNN today that this woman in France just received the first successful face transplant after she was mauled by her Labrador. They replaced like her whole nose and lips and chin or something.
Guy: Whoa.
Girl: I know!
Guy: I mean, I thought Labradors were, like, really friendly.

--19th & 8th

Posted by Terry McMahon at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Talk about your horrifying moments: I have this friend Jill who was in all my law school classes last semester, and she just wrote a blog post about how she discovered a message board of guys obsessed with her, and, let's say, pretty vocal about stuff they should probably keep private. (What exactly is a "hate-fuck"?) You may or may not want to read this message board itself, but Jill's post is pretty terrible. What an awful thing to go through.

Now, I've certainly had extended periods of being a dateless internet dork, so it's not like I've never seen guys like this, or their mature, thoughtful level of discussion. I should also say that I fully support a well-made joke about potentially sensitive topics, and that is not what these guys are doing. So to help the world become a better place, here are my tips for posting on the internet without (here's hoping) getting publicly revealed as an asshole:

1. Understand when people may read what you're saying. I take potshots at people all the time on this blog, and I would make the exact same points (maybe not the exact same words) to their faces. None of these guys have the balls to be this cruel in person, partly because they're wusses and mostly because they're just shooting off and don't believe what they're saying. I'm sure it never occurred to most of them that Jill would actually find this site and read it. Guess what, chumps: that's your problem, not hers.

   So here's a suggestion: if you're going to post in public, be comfortable with the possibility of whoever you're trashing reading your comments. If, most likely, you're disparaging a video-game publisher, consider if there's a hard-working, talented, good-intentioned Squaresoft employee who's going to stare at the wall for ten minutes after reading your comments on Final Fantasy. Can you make the same point without being a jerk about it? Now, if your post involves awful sexual comments about a person who goes to the same school as you, it's a little more straightforward: don't be a fucking moron. Think about who might read it, and what they might think, before you write a horrifying post. Sometimes this takes practice. Try anyway.

2. If you're not being funny, you're just being creepy. My offensive jokes are hilarious because I keep the premise to things that no one could possibly take seriously, and I limit my audience to people who trust my intentions. To demonstrate, here's a fun fact: I support equal rights for boys and girls, I don't know why we didn't pass the ERA, and unlike Newt Gingrich, I don't think women will get "infections" if they were on the front lines of battle. I think women should be allowed to make their own decisions in life, from high-salaried Manhattan lawyer with no free time to homemaker and mother with no free time to Democratic Senate candidate with no free time. (I also support women sleeping in, the free time thing is a coincidence.)

   So that's my opinion on feminism. If I want to make a joke that involves women's rights, I have a challenge: the butt of the joke can't be "the feminazis," but rather the idea itself of taking me seriously. That's why I always get a kick out of pretending to oppose women's suffrage: it's not a statement of opinion, it's a joke about statements of stupid opinions. If this exciting wordplay sounds too complicated (I'm not saying it's easy, or that I'm perfect at it), limit your attempts to small groups of trusted friends. Fair? Keep your message board posting to who's going to replace Leo on The West Wing.

   So back to the instant case, these assholes may have tried to be clever or amusing, but it's clear from where their jokes were directed that the point wasn't to be funny. They were just being dicks, and pretending to make jokes as a disguise. That doesn't count as a joke. That counts as being a shithead.

   (For those in the know, this is different than when my friend got deaned in front of contracts class for two reasons: one, the message boards here are public and can be viewed without an invite or a login, and two, there's no question that the victim here was an intentional target. Not cool.)

3. Learn how to go after someone. There's nothing wrong itself with feeling threatened by a strident feminist, what's right or wrong is how you react to that feeling. Protip: going after someone personally is awful, with the added bonus of making you look like an idiot. If you disagree with someone, shoot down their ideas. If you can't do that, then either you're wrong or you haven't thought about it long enough. If you think someone really is a terrible person, then make it clear that you're divorcing their personal actions from their opinions (as I just did in the second and third sentences in this paragraph). Figure out what your problem is with someone, and go after that, and that alone. Don't get desperate for targets.

4. Pick your battles, geniuses. You can't beat back a movement by browbeating one person. If you trash someone on a message board, guess what? They're still going to feel the same way, and pretty much no one will notice. If you really want to tear down feminism, apply to the Heritage Foundation or donate to Ralph Reed or something. Message-board discussions never, ever go anywhere.

I can't imagine having to read people saying horrible personal things about me, just because they feel threatened my opinion. I guess in our futuristic internet world, that's the price you pay to speak your mind.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 2:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I've been saying "Happy Holidays" for weeks now, doing my part as a foot soldier in the all-important "War on Christmas." My arch-conservative readers must be furrowing their brows, wondering: how could someone who's been wishing people only happy holidays like some member of al-Qaeda now be wishing a Merry Christmas? It's all so confusing.

Here's a hint: It's Christmas! I hope everyone reading this, and even everyone not reading this, has a happy Christmas. If you're not Christian, that's okay, you can have a happy December 25th as you contemplate your future in the fiery pits of places you don't believe exist. I would offer happier tidings, but all the holiday cheer and this wonderful french toast casserole (!) confection that Peter made has forced me to expound all my good feelings already. Good times!

Now, here's the thing about "Happy Holidays," and why we've started this massive imaginary War on Christmas: "Happy Holidays" is the perfect thing to say during the Christmas season. Let me count the ways:

1. Most days during Christmas season, it's not Christmas. Christmas Eve, absolutely. Christmas Day, you'd be crazy to say anything else. But if you think I'm going to be wishing people a Merry Christmas on December 6th and November 27th, you got another thing coming, buddy.
   
2. I like to wish people "Happy Holidays" because I want them to have happy times during the holidays. I know this is going to be another calculus problem here, but a reference to "holidays" doesn't always amount to a rejection of Christianity. Sometimes I just hope that people have an enjoyable season that starts at Thanksgiving and continues through New Year's, with either Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever.
   
3. Some dipshits actually go and not be Christian. And since a lot of them celebrate holidays during this season anyway, "Happy Holidays" covers them too. "I like to include people" is just another of the hard-hitting truths you get here at Terry McMahon's Awesome Blog.

So to everyone: Merry Christmas!

Posted by Terry McMahon at 2:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I don't know if the anxiety of law school finals is making me imagine things, or it's making this actually happen, or if this is just happening naturally, but I was looking in the mirror and I'm pretty sure. It's happening.

I now have a great suggestion for anyone looking to get me a Christmas present.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 3:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Me at the Apple Store: SoHo represents, like, the total failure of everything Jesus fought for.
(Pause)
Guy I said that probably too close to: Truer words have never been spoken.
Galvin: ... I was waiting for someone to say that.

Also, I said this one several times: "You know what I love about SoHo? It's the place where weak souls go to hate themselves for everything wrong with them." Also, people don't know how to walk. Quick quiz: if you're walking five abreast, how often should you stop in the middle of the sidewalk?

I love it here. I was saying to Galvin and his brother that I keep forgetting where the Angelika movie theater is, despite the fact that a) it's a block and a half away from where I live, b) it's literally across the street from where I jog on the roof (I can see it on every lap), and c) I keep telling Galvin that we have to go to that movie theater right by me. So as we're walking, say, a block from the Angelika on Houston, this girl also walking down the street says, "You didn't know where the Angelika is? It's right there!" Always the charmer, I reply, "yeah, actually, these guys were just getting on my case about that too, so, we're all set, but, thanks." See? I can be cutting too.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 1:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I know you've been waiting as long as I have to turn this blog into a dating advice column as well as a left-wing political ranting mechanism, and it looks like now's the time. I found this gem in a very lengthy New York Times Magazine article by Maureen Dowd. ("Look, if you're just going to talk about dating in your political column, why don't you write a book about it?") Anyway:

I knew this before fashion magazines became crowded with crinolines, bows, ruffles, leopard-skin scarves, 50's party dresses and other sartorial equivalents of flirting and with articles like "The Return of Hard to Get." ("I think it behooves us to stop offering each other these pearls of feminism, to stop saying, 'So, why don't you call him?"' a writer lectured in Mademoiselle. "Some men must have the thrill of the chase.")

Now, I understand most chicks want an assertive guy who's not a wuss and who's not going to keep saying "I don't know, what do you want to do?" So if someone were to say, instead, that they'd only go out with a guy who made the first move, that's fine by me. It's your life. Because here's my concern: I couldn't even tell you what this thrill is. Maybe I'm just not hanging out with enough asshole jocks, but the best I can tell is that "the thrill of the chase" is either the thrill of calling a chick and not having her call back, or the thrill of getting turned down for dates until eventually she says yes. I admit, law school is continually revealing that I'm a huge idiot, so you may have to explain or clarify with monosyllabic words, because I'd really love to know. My email address is terrymcmahon -at- gmail.com, for those of you not interested in flaming and/or responding via the comments section. Feel free to comment on here too.

P.S. Before I get brought up in front of contracts class for my use of the word "chick," I must repeat my long-standing position that I will happily drop it in favor of any better female equivalent of "guy." (Yeah, didn't think so.)

Posted by Terry McMahon at 9:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

No comment necessary.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 9:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

funny how videos sometimes turn out differently than you expect.

first watch this one.

then watch this one.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 10:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm predisposed to like Kanye West, because he's the second rapper (after Eminem) I've ever gotten into. But Kanye's one of those guys who keeps coming through for you in the clutch. Let's look at NBC's press release after their telethon last night:

Tonight's telecast was a live television event wrought with emotion. Kanye West departed from the scripted comments that were prepared for him and his opinions in no way represent the views of the networks. It would be most unfortunate if the efforts of the artists who participated tonight and the generosity of millions of Americans who are helping those in need are overshadowed by one person's opinion.

Appearing two-thirds through the program, he claimed "George Bush doesn't care about black people" and said America is set up "to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible."

As for his second comment, that the country is designed to help the less well-off as slowly as possible, can anyone disagree at that point? Whenever a disaster is oncoming, it's always the people without cars, without family members in other cities who can take them in, and without a heavy-duty TV/radio/internet communications network who don't get out in time. And when they don't get out in time, they're the ones who get to stand in neck-deep sewage water until they die, get stored and shoved around like cattle, or get shot by roving gangs of desperate criminals. The government's preparation here is obviously appalling, but will any of this be fixed for the next big disaster? Does anyone really think at this point that there's a plan for what happens when Los Angeles falls apart in a massive earthquake?

People like Kanye West have every right to say outrageous things. They're pissed, and they should be. The big question is whether George Bush is pissed off too.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 1:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I just got back from one of NYU's two gyms, this one being the older gym that just so happens to be about a block from my apartment. Let me say, for the record, that rock climbing is awesome: not only do they have a rock climbing wall, which is itself great, but they have two rock climbing machines. That's right, you have these two rock-climbing walls, about eight feet tall, and you can actually set them to scroll. Like you start climbing, and the wall moves down at a certain rate. Despite having my backpack and civilian clothes on (i.e. not gym clothes), I hopped on immediately. This is my second time rock climbing, so I slipped off, repeatedly, at first, but literally exactly when the cute girls left I got a handle on things. It was exhiliarating. There's an outdoor track and tennis courts on the roof. (Note to everyone in NYC: I want to play tennis.)

So apparently NYU Law made a huge mistake in admitting me. Actually, I'm sure that's not true, but I've certainly felt unbelievably confused in several classes so far. Everyone, as in literally everyone I talked to who's finished a year of law school, says this happens to them and everyone else, but I'll tell you, it hits you like a ton of bricks. Apparently Chas has a book with a chapter called, "Don't Read This Until You're The Dumbest Person In The Class." I think I'm getting there.

That said, though, I keep getting more and more positive reinforcement from everyone. I was talking to the guys at a Federalist Society meeting last night (come on, free pizza) and they said the people who raise their hands the most in class are the least likely to do well on the final. (The final, by the way, is the only grade.) Apparently one guy said the only guy he knew who spoke a lot in class and did well spoke a lot because he only started his comments with "I don't understand..." So I'll probably be okay.

No, I still haven't unpacked.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 3:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Motley Fool's headlines are walking on sunshine. Get it? Katrina and the Waves were a band.

New York temperatures, 11:37am: 83 degrees, feels like 90.

Posted by Terry McMahon at 11:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

All right, well I live in a new state now. Just so everyone knows, law school is going fine, inasmuch as I have yet to take a class. Several experienced members of the NYU Law family have suggested that if you work hard enough to get a B or B+ in your classes, you will probably get a reasonable approximation of your dream job. And thanks to the widest curve this side of Britney Spears (oh tag), pretty much everyone gets a B or B+. So I am not likely to end up destitute.

I regret coming here wholeheartedly. No, I just made that up. Speaking as someone who thought of Raleigh, NC as a huge place with tons to do and everything so close, it is surreal to be literally a block from a Best Buy, with a McDonald's, several hot dog stands, some type of wholesale liquidators, and Subways of the sandwich and transportative kind, all in between. The law school students are friendly and funny and interesting, as expected. I'm not getting enough sleep (nap today though) and I am already worried about not doing enough work, so those are both good signs for my long-term success.

Anyway, I'm boring myself writing this, so I'll leave you to email me if I'm omitting anything. What I really want to write about today is Gov. Brian Schweitzer of Montana. Montana politics went through a bit of an upheaval last November when Democrats took over the governor's office and both houses of the state legislature, thanks in large part to Schweitzer's down-home progressive populism. I really like the guy. He claimed he was bipartisan and picked a GOP running mate to prove it, and when a new liquor store opened up in Montana, he showed up for the opening - and downed a shot for the press. Read this fabulous profile in Salon to find out more, but at the very least see what he looks like:

And there's nothing I love in a great politician more than their reinforcement of my admiration. Apparently Schweitzer thinks he can actually lower gas prices - nationally - and the crazy thing is, it just might work. Let me excerpt the best parts:

Montana's governor wants to solve America's rising energy costs using a technology discovered in Germany 80 years ago that converts coal into gasoline, diesel and aviation fuel.

The Fischer-Tropsch technology, discovered by German researchers in 1923 and later used by the Nazis to convert coal into wartime fuels, was not economical as long as oil cost less than $30 a barrel.

But with U.S. crude oil now hitting more than double that price, Gov. Brian Schweitzer's plan is getting more attention across the country and some analysts are taking him very seriously.

Montana is "sitting on more energy than they have in the Middle East," Schweitzer told Reuters in an interview this week.

(P.S. I would be remiss in writing about Montana Democratic politics without writing about Jon Tester, who looks like a gym teacher, is having a Pearl Jam concert as a campaign event, and I'm absolutely convinced will beat Conrad Burns to become Montana's next U.S. Senator. This is what Tester looks like:

He launched his campaign with a statewide tour in an 18-wheeler. On the back of the truck it said, "You're behind the right guy." Check out his awesome campaign website here.)

Posted by Terry McMahon at 10:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You know, with family members you really think you know them. While growing up, they're the one constant in your life: as everything else changes, and keeps changing, they're always there, and always there for you. It's like you know them better than you know anyone else.

Then they go and get pregnant.

Laura and I started off doing everything more or less a year apart, since she's more or less exactly one year older than me. Birth, kindergarten, SATs, college, and, uh, from there it kind of dropped off. Someone had to go get married, a lifestyle choice I have yet to match (he has a blog? and he's unmarried?), and now this.

Actually, all told it's not much of a surprise. Avid readers of Laura's blog will know that she'd been trying for some time, plus, you know, there is the four-year-marriage thing. So yesterday when I got a call at 9:10am and discovered it was my sister, I had a sneaking suspicion what it would be about, since no one calls me at 9:10am, much less my sister. So as the voicemail kicked in, I thought to myself, "well, she wouldn't announce this on an answering machine message, so let's see if she just tells me to call her back. Also if she's in a wicked good mood." Sure enough, she came through on both counts. And sure enough, my sister is pregnant.

Fortunately, trying to get pregnant is, like finding a job, one of those trying life endeavors with a really sudden payoff. And, unlike finding a job, pregnancy offers another payoff 9-10 months later when Laura goes through the most painful experience possible in existence. Congratulations to Laura and Peter both, and here's to a happy, healthy mommy and baby. (P.S. This is still weird. My sister is NOT a "mommy." That, you'll note, is mommy's job. Am I right, people?)

Anyway, not that this is relevant, but Laura notes at the end of her post on pregnancy that the plural of vagina is vaginae. Look, she brought it up, not me. Anyway, this is true because vagina is a Latin word meaning, you know, the obvious, plus it's also a semi-obscure word for "sheath," as in, what you put your sword into. And sure enough, a semi-obscure word for "sword" is everyone's favorite word, penis. Aren't you glad you're familiar with Latin declensions?